just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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