Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
