Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
