I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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