i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
