a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
