Don't make out with my wife yet
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Watching her eat just hurts me
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
