After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
this boner is exhausting
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
