i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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