He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize