office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
