he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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