sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
