This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
