Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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