Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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