he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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