Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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