i would punch a child for taco bell
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
