aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
