Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
