Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
