So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
