actually, I'm a sock model
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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