so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
