What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
