Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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