I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
