Someone shit on the floor
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
