My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
