Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
