How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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