Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
