omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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