Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
what the fuck happened to the tacos
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
