OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We got so high we made milksteak
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
wow bdsm is so cute
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
