apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
