Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
