Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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