we have officially lost it.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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