These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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