wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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