so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
