I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
