I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
