I am puke
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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