Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
