I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
