I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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