I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
