i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
