Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
