Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
