They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
