She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
