My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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